Draco Malfoy and his series of unfortunate events
by stellagammadraconis
Summary: All Draco wanted was to propose to the love of his life. Why are all these redheads popping up?


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Sad, but true.

Written for Godric's Hollows and Dramione Fanfic Exchange Valentine's Fest

"Well, fur ball, what do you think?"

Draco Malfoy gestured the cat to inspect his handiwork as he stood by the doorway leading to the large balcony of the posh apartment that he shared with Hermione. The large, ginger cat his girlfriend owned looked smugly at him before setting his sights outdoors at the makeshift bed he had set up for tonight, sneered, and started to walk away from the set up. Draco rolled his eyes. Trust Hermione's cat to act all high and mighty.

Today was Valentine's – that one day out of the year where his usually reasonable, and logical girlfriend turns mushy. It amused him how much she loved Valentine's, and how important it was for them to do something a little more romantic than usual on this day. A smile crept on to Draco's face as he patted the pocket of his trousers, where he kept the Malfoy engagement ring his mother gave to him when he visited her yesterday. Tonight, he was going to ask her to be his wife. He doubted anything could be more romantic than that.

The young Deputy Head of the Ministry's Department of Magical Sports looked at the setting that he worked on himself. It looked perfect from where he was standing – there was a mattress at the corner of the balcony, which he covered with a fitted sheet and a duvet the same way she did in their bedroom. He conjured pillows, placing them around the corners, and summoned her favourite book to place on top of it, to make it look exactly how their bed did. On the small side table, he placed a vase filled with her favourite Juliet Roses. Draco also conjured those little scented candles his frizzy-haired girlfriend loved so much. If he were to describe this setting in one word, he thought it was perfect. If only her damn cat would give his approval, he thought.

In the three years he and Hermione had been exclusively dating, he'd learned to consult Crookshanks in most of his decisions concerning the brightest witch of her age. It was as if the feline knew her like the pads on his paws. Right now, the message the cat was sending out wasn't so promising. Crookshanks was busy walking around, his tail swaying left and right. "Crooks, come on, mate. I really want to marry her," Draco cried out desperately.

The ginger half-kneazle stopped on his tracks, his tail pointed straight upwards as he turned his head to Draco's direction. Without wasting any more time, the feline headed straight for the floo and looked up at the floo powder on the ledge of their fire place.

"You're a laugh, Crooks. Like you'd want me to block the floo…" he laughed nervously, while watching the cat narrow his eyes at him. "Well fuck, I can't do that!"

Crookshanks snorted and walked away.

"Fine then, don't help me. This will turn out great, you'll see!" he called out after the ginger cat,who kept walking away from him, its tail swaying side to side. Draco sighed. I could pull this off, he thought to himself. He had everything in order - he had the setting ready, placed the wine in the chiller, prepared the cheese platter, asked Potter to download those Marvin Gaye songs he'd been harping on so badly, and he was currently cooking her favourite Beef Bourguignon. This is going to turn out perfect, he cheered to himself.

He was making his way back to the kitchen to check on the food when he heard the floo activate. "Mione? Hey Mione?"

Draco groaned. Dating Hermione Granger also meant dating the entire Weasley family and one obnoxious scarhead. It took a while for him to get used to seeing the redheads on Sundays, but they were her family, so he tried to get along. Ron made a huge effort in getting Draco to fit into their family's dynamics, and soon after the rest of the Weasleys followed suit. While it felt good to have an extended family of sorts, becoming an "unofficial Weasley" came with a price - these redheads showed up in their flat at random times. Draco couldn't count the number of times he and Hermione babysat Harry and Ginny's, or George and Angie's, kids, or help Ron sober up after a long night at the pub.

It shouldn't have surprised him that Ron would drop in unexpectedly, except he did remind them over and over that he was going to propose to her today and that he hoped they wouldn't barge in. He sighed, looking at the youngest male Weasley, who was dusting himself off at his living room.

"What do you want, Weasel? Hermione isn't home."

"Excellent!" The ginger haired Ministry Auror said excitedly. "I really didn't want her to be around because that'd be awkward. I need a huge favour, Mate-"

"Good God, Ron! I am a straight man," Draco said incredulously.

"Bloody hell, Malfoy! I was going to ask if I could use your shower!" Ron responded defensively. "I've got a big date with Padma, and I need to look my best."

Draco almost sagged against the couch in relief. "Fine. Use the shower in the second bedroom."

"Thanks!"

"And don't leave the wet towel on the floor!" he called out just before his girlfriend's best friend shut the door. Sighing, he scourgified the area where Ron dusted the excess floo powder off. Living with Hermione for over a year made him just as fussy over keeping everything pristine.

As he made his way back to the kitchen, he heard the floo activate once again. 'Damn it, I should've listened to Crooks!' he said.

"What the hell did you send over, Malfoy? You call that food?" a very pregnant Ginny Potter asked as soon as she stepped out of the floo.

"Uh, well sure, come on over," he said, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Here, hold James for me," she said, handing the toddler to him before padding her way to the kitchen to salvage his concoction. "I'll make this a meal she won't forget… and not because she had indigestion."

"Hey, I resent that Potterette," Draco called out after her.

"Well, I resent tasting whatever it was you sent me. I could've sworn I saw it move," the pregnant redhead responded. "Stay out of the kitchen, Mister Granger!"

He was just about to come up with a retort when the wife of the obnoxious scarhead closed the kitchen door on him.

"The nerve of that woman!" he exclaimed as he conjured the playpen that he and Hermione bought for when they had to babysit for any of the Weasleys. As he placed James in the playpen, he heard a nasty purr coming from behind. He glanced at his back and saw Crookshanks sitting three steps behind him, lazily grooming himself.

When the old cat purred again, Draco rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. You were right, Crooks! I should've blocked the floo-" the blond Slytherin told the cat, who continued to groom himself and act like he had no clue what his owner's boyfriend was talking about. "You know what, I'm going to block it right now!"

Draco was making his way to the fireplace to block the floo when he saw it activate once more. He groaned. This was too much! "Which redhead demon calls upon my humble abode?" he asked, unable to hide his sarcasm.

"Draco babe, are you all right?"

It was Hermione! Draco's eyes snapped wide open, but he managed to catch himself in time before he started to panic. "Baby… so, why'd you call?"

"Uhm, well, because you asked me to?" she teased. "Are you sure nothing's wrong? You're not cooking up a surprise again, are you?"

He shrugged. "Surprise? Of course not," he dismissed. "So, what time are you coming home?"

The curly haired healer chuckled, knowing for sure that her boyfriend was up to something. "Okay… My shift ends in about forty minutes, but I have to make sure the patients are properly endorsed to the healer-on-duty, so I might be home in about an hour tops."

"I can't wait to see you, Baby," he said.

"Me neither. I love you. See you in a bit!"

"I love you," Draco said before Hermione disconnected her floo, leaving him smiling at the fireplace where his lover's face appeared a while back.

"Aw, that's sweet, Mate!"

Draco slapped a hand on his forehead. "Why do these people appear when I don't need them?" he thought to himself before facing Ron. "What is it now, Weasley?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow your shirt," Ron said, striding into the living room wearing the dress shirt Hermione gave him for Valentine's. "See? This is my colour. It brings out the colour of my hair."

Draco stared at him with his jaw hanging. That ginger oaf was wearing the shirt he was going to wear tonight! Draco took a deep breath and counted to ten. Draco, eyes on the prize! You are proposing to Hermione tonight. Do NOT kill Ronald Weasley in front of a witness he said to himself as he tried to calm down. Wait? Witness? "That may be a baby, Draco, but that's still Potter's son. Merlin knows what kind of advanced sorcery this little guy knows!"

"Uh-oh!"

Draco straightened up at the sound of those two syllables that could never be anything good.

"Ginny! James did the barfy," Ron called out. Shortly after, the pregnant redhead appeared in the living room to check on her son.

"Well, I wasn't able to bring a diaper bag with me because I was in a hurry-"

Draco heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. "Hermione kept the baby clothes you left the last time in the second bedroom."

"Good old Mione!" Ginny exclaimed. "Can you please take him there to change, Ron? I still have to remedy the catastrophe called Malfoy's cooking."

"Done and done, Ginny," Ron said, carrying the toddler to the room which he had just come from. "Sorry about your shirt -"

"Don't mention it!" Draco said quickly, waving his hand at Ron. He then made a beeline for the couch and sat right beside Crookshanks. He leaned back and placed the ball of his palms over his eyes. This day couldn't be any worse than it already was.

"What a mess, Crooks! It's like that hat on the cat story Hermione reads to the children. No offense," he groaned at Crookshanks. The old cat moved closer to him and snuggled against his leg. Draco sighed again as he accepted the silent comfort that Hermione's pet provided. He just had to pray and hope that the other people in the flat would finish up soon and leave. After all, what could be worse than proposing to your girlfriend with two full-sized Weasleys standing as witnesses?

A knock on the door brought him made him jump. "Coming!" he called out as he stood and made his way to the front door. He thought of the possible people who'd be knocking at their door at this time - the postman arrived this morning and so did the florist. He opened the door, immediately regretting it. Standing outside, looking dishevelled and forlorn, was no other than Percy Weasley.

The lanky head of the Ministry's Department of Magical Transportation and Communication nodded at Draco, walked into the flat and straight to the living room. The young Malfoy scratched his head and followed the odd Weasley to the living room, where he found him lying on the couch with his hands folded on his chest.

"Oh-kay… What is bothering you, Weasley?" Draco asked as he sat on one of the ottomans with Crookshanks next to him.

"Malfoy, I need you to be honest," Percy started, piquing the blond's interest. "Do you think I have something stuck up my ass?"

Draco couldn't decide between laughing at the man on his couch or sending a quick and painless Avada. He stared at the third Weasley son with his eyes wide open. "Really? This has to happen now? Merlin, have mercy!"

"I can't seem to get a date! There was this lady at Shacklebolt's office… Linda, I think…" the redhead started, without being prompted. "I've been dying to ask her out for quite a while now. And you know, it's Valentine's and all, so I did."

"And?"

Percy gave him an exasperated look. "Well, she obviously said no," he told Draco, narrowing his eyes at the blond. "She said I've got something stuck up my ass. What did she mean? Do you think I do?"

Draco sent a silent prayer to the gods. This wasn't turning out the way he planned it - it was bad enough that Ron and Potter Junior ruined his shirt, and that there was a pregnant redhead cooking something edible in his kitchen - he now had the most unspirited Weasley brother lying on his couch and opening up about his private life like he was a patient, and Draco was a shrink.

"Malfoy?"

"Huh? Oh I'm sure you've got some redeeming qualities in you," the handsome Slytherin said.

"What does Hermione see in you, Malfoy?" Percy insisted. "Come on, I want to know because I want to be able to use that trait too. I mean, after all, we do look alike right?"

As if on cue, Crookshanks started heaving, possibly choking on a hairball.

"Crooks? Crooks… you all right, boy?" Draco asked, his voice rising in panic. "Stay with me, mate. You can't leave me!"

The floo activated one after another. He closed his eyes and wished for Merlin to send him a quick Avada as he heard the voices of no other than Scarhead and Hermione talking behind him.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" she inquired.

"Ginny brought our son to your flat."

"Ginny's here?"

"And Percy," someone called out from the living room. When the brunette finally saw him lying on the couch, he waved at her. "Cheers, Hermione!"

"Hello, Percy," she greeted while she looked around for any more guests.

"All right, we're back!" Ron announced as he and James surfaced from inside the second bedroom. "Oh look, James, your daddy is here… and so are Auntie Mione, Uncle Ferret and Uncle Percy," Ron told the precocious toddler, who babbled happily upon seeing more people in the room with him.

Crookshanks cracked an eye at Draco, who now looked like he was going to faint. The old feline snuggled up to his owner's boyfriend. Yes, the idiot could be a handful sometimes, but he was a good person. If he had only listened earlier.

"Food's ready!" Ginny Potter announced, stepping out of the kitchen excitedly. "And it smells heavenly, too! Malfoy, I can't wait for you to ask Hermione -"

Ginny stopped abruptly when she saw a room full of people, including Hermione, staring at her.

"Ask me what?" Hermione asked.

"Uh… Ask you what you think of the food," Ginny responded awkwardly. "Oh, what do you know, it's time for us to go home, Harry. Come on, get James and let's be on our merry way. Bye Mione, Owl me!"

Hermione watched in confusion as the Potters walked to the floo and disappeared into the emerald green flames.

"Well, I best be on my way, too. I have a date with Padma," Ron said, excusing himself before looking at Percy. "You coming, Perce? Parvati's tagging along. She's single."

At that, Percy's ears perked up, and his eyes lit. "Ah, well, it's time to turn on the charm then," he said, standing up. "Malfoy, thank you for being a gracious host."

When the two gingers were out of their flat, Hermione looked at her boyfriend, who sat on the couch with his hand on his face. "Are you okay, Babe?" she asked, walking over to where he was.

He sobbed, "It's ruined!"

She knelt in front of him, held his hands, and took it away from his face. "What's ruined, Babe?"

"Valentine's! This! My surprise!"

The curly haired healer frowned. "A surprise?"

"Yes, my surprise for you!" he exclaimed, "Tonight, we were supposed to have a nice home cooked meal, and have wine and cheese outside by the balcony… and I wanted to do something after."

She raised an eyebrow quizzically and then she stood and walked to the balcony. Hermione opened the door to reveal what Draco had been fussing about. "Oh Draco," she sighed. "This is perfect!"

"You really think so?" he asked, standing up and following her out.

Hermione nodded and looped her arms around his neck. "And you know what else is perfect?"

He shook his head.

"This. You and me," she chuckled, standing on the tip of her toes to plant a kiss on Draco's lips.

He was on cloud nine… Almost. He saw his girlfriend close her eyes and lean in. Just before their lips met, he whispered, "Marry me."

Hermione's eyes shot wide open, and her arms fell on her sides. "What did you say?"

Draco cleared his throat, knelt on one knee, and presented her with the Malfoy engagement ring. "Hermione, you are the love of my life, and I would like nothing more than to be with you forever. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Draco saw the tears escape from her eyes. He could tell just by looking at this beautiful woman he's been privileged to call his, that her heart was swelling. "Yes, my love! Of course I will marry you!" she exclaimed. He stood up, slipped the ring on her finger, and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him, and convinced him to go onto the balcony to the makeshift bed.

"Let's put this bed to good use," she winked at him.

"Uh, but aren't we eating first?"

"Draco, since when did we follow the natural order of things?" she teased. "Besides, I've always wanted to make love under the stars. If you're up to it, that is."

Draco grinned at his fiancée, who was currently sitting on the bed, waiting for him to join her. He took one quick glance at Crookshanks from the balcony door.

"Thank you," Draco mouthed at the old cat, who gave him a quick nod before standing up and walking out of sight.

"I suppose you're not in the mood now that we're engaged," Hermione said airily.

"Just you wait, love," he said, joining her in bed and pulling her closer. "I bet I can make you say yes to me again."

"Oh, I really wouldn't be so confident," Hermione baited.

But Draco made good on his promise. There, on Valentine's, under the stars Draco got his fiancée to say yes to him over and over.

Thanks to a few meddling Weasleys, and one very bright feline.

Fin.


End file.
